There is a list of weird things about hippos, things that may disturb you. You have just found this list. I hope you were looking for it.
1. Hippos can bite an alligator in half with their teeth.
2. Hippopotamus means "river-horse," which is disturbingly inaccurate because horses do not live in water.
3. Sometimes hippos jump out of the water and bite people.
4. Over 3,000 people per year die from hippo attacks. Only 5 people a year die from shark attacks.
5. If you feed a hippopotamus alka-seltzer, you can have what I call "hick town fireworks" as you watch it explode like Old Faithful from your trailer park as you grill other hippopotamus meat that you have procured (that's a a fancy word for got) from your local deli (which is a fancy word for picking up hippopotamus parts in your backyard from the last time you fed one alka-seltzer).
6. Hippos are ugly and unwieldy.
7. When babies look at hippos, they cry.
8. When hippo babies look at hippos, they gain weight and become hippo adults.
9. Hippo babies grow up really fast.
10. A hippo baby is not allowed to become an adult.
